How to Use a Butt Plug for the First Time

Choosing Your First Size

If you are thinking about how to use a butt plug for the first time, size is the first decision that matters. Go smaller than your instinct says. A plug that feels genuinely small in your hand is the right starting point. Something in the 2-3cm diameter range at the widest point is manageable for most people. The Gem Joy Silicone Butt Plug and the Slender Sensual are both designed with this in mind, and they are a good reason why these two move consistently through the shop.

You will read articles that suggest starting with a finger first, and that is sound advice. If a finger is comfortable, a slim plug will be comfortable. If a finger is not yet comfortable, the plug can wait.

Lube: More Than You Think You Need

Lube is not optional with anal play. The anus does not self-lubricate the way a vagina does, and without sufficient lube, insertion is uncomfortable at best and causes small tears at worst. Use more than you think is necessary, then add more.

For silicone plugs, water-based lube is the correct choice. Silicone-based lube degrades silicone toys over time, which is worth knowing before you reach for whatever is in the drawer. Apply lube to both the plug and the external area before starting. If things feel like they are dragging or catching at any point, add more lube immediately.

The Gem Joy and Slender Sensual are both silicone, so water-based lube is the go with both.

How to Actually Relax

This is the part most guides underexplain. Relaxation during anal play is a physical skill, not just a mental state. The external anal sphincter responds to breath. A slow exhale as you apply gentle inward pressure is more effective than trying to force relaxation by thinking about it.

Lying on your back with knees drawn up, or on your side in a foetal position, are the two positions most people find comfortable for solo plug use. Sitting over the plug is harder for beginners because the body instinctively tenses.

If you feel resistance, stop. Breathe out slowly. Wait. Try again with more lube. Pain is a signal to stop, not to push through.

Insertion: Step by Step

Get yourself relaxed and aroused first. Arousal naturally relaxes the pelvic floor, which makes a meaningful difference. Apply lube generously. Position the tip of the plug at the opening and apply consistent, gentle inward pressure while you breathe out slowly. The plug should slide in gradually, not pop in suddenly.

The narrowing neck of a butt plug is what keeps it in place once the widest point has passed. You will feel the sphincter close around the neck, and at that point the plug is seated correctly. It should feel like a full, slightly pressured sensation. Not painful.

If the plug has a gem or decorative base, make sure the base is sitting flat against the body and is not being pressed inward. The flared base is a safety feature. It is what prevents a plug from travelling further than intended.

How Long Can You Keep It In?

For a first session, 15-30 minutes is a reasonable starting point. There is no benefit to pushing through discomfort in the early sessions. The body adapts over multiple sessions, and what feels like a lot at 20 minutes becomes comfortable at 45 minutes after a few weeks of regular use.

Remove the plug if you feel any sharp pain, significant cramping, or numbness. These are signals to stop.

Removing the Plug

Removal is as deliberate as insertion. Relax, breathe out, and apply gentle outward pressure. The plug should come out smoothly. If it feels like it is resisting, add more lube and wait a moment. Tugging forcefully is never the right approach.

Cleaning and Storage

Rinse the plug under warm water immediately after use, before anything has a chance to dry. Silicone plugs can be boiled for full sterilisation, or run through the dishwasher on the top shelf without detergent. Store separately from other toys to prevent materials from reacting with each other. A small cotton pouch or zip-lock bag works fine.

For full cleaning guidance across all toy materials, see the Manatomy sex toy cleaning guide.

What to Try Next

Once a smaller plug is comfortable for extended sessions, moving up one size is straightforward. The Plunge Plug and Rainbow Butt Plug are natural second toys. The Knub Stainless Steel Butt Plug is worth considering if you are interested in temperature play and the firmer, weightier sensation that metal provides.

From butt plugs, the natural next steps are dildos for prostate stimulation or vibrating plug toys. The Scorpion Vibrating Cock Ring and Butt Plug combo covers both shaft stimulation and anal play in one toy, which is a practical next step for solo sessions.

MANATOMY TEAM NOTE: We have been writing about and selling anal toys in Australia since we started the shop. The questions we get asked most are about lube quantity (always more than you think), relaxation (it is a skill that develops), and whether a small plug is embarrassingly small (it is not). Start small, use a lot of lube, and do not rush the process.

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