The Flared Base Rule
A dildo buyers guide for gay men starts here because this is the non-negotiable: if a dildo is going anywhere near your arse, it needs a flared base. A flared base is a base wider than the widest point of the toy. Without it, there is no reliable way to retrieve the toy if it travels further than intended. The rectum can hold objects, and it will. This is a medical emergency when it happens.
Every dildo sold on the Manatomy site that is described for anal use has a flared base. If you are buying a dildo elsewhere, check this before purchase.
Size: Starting Smaller Makes Sense
The temptation to size up is real and understandable. The practical advice is to resist it for your first dildo. Anal capacity develops over time with consistent use. A toy that is too large for your current capacity produces pain and negative associations, not pleasure. A toy that feels genuinely manageable produces enjoyment and provides the physical progression toward larger sizes over time.
For a first dildo, something in the 3-4cm diameter range at the widest point and 12-15cm in usable length is a sensible starting point. The Smooth Satisfier at $18.50 and Petite Pecker at $18.50 are both in this range.
Shape and Curve
Straight Dildos
Straight dildos are the most versatile and the easiest to use in multiple positions. The Smooth Satisfier and Dragon Scale are both straight designs. For someone new to dildos, a straight toy is easier to control and predict than a curved one.
Curved for Prostate Stimulation
A slight upward curve directs pressure toward the anterior wall of the rectum, where the prostate sits approximately 5-7cm inside the body. The Love Wand Glass Dildo has a curve designed specifically for this. The effect of direct prostate pressure is different from general anal stimulation, more focused and internal, and for some men significantly more intense.
Material Options
Silicone Dildos
The Smooth Satisfier, Petite Pecker, Pleasing Pink, Dragon Scale, and Wrist Fist are all silicone. These are body-safe, sterilisable, and durable. Use water-based lube with silicone toys.
Glass Dildos
The Furrowed Glass Dildo at $22.50, Love Wand at $34.50, and Groovy Wand are borosilicate glass. Firm, smooth, fully sterilisable, and excellent for temperature play. Glass dildos are often underrated because of an assumption that they are fragile, but borosilicate glass is tougher than it looks. Handle with normal care and avoid dropping.
Suction Cups and Harness Compatibility
The Unicorn Suction Dildo at $22.50 has a suction cup base, which allows hands-free use against a flat surface. This changes solo use completely, freeing both hands and allowing positions that are not possible when holding the toy. Worth considering if hands-free play is relevant to how you want to use it.
Some dildos are also harness-compatible, meaning the base fits into a standard O-ring harness. The Thrusting Dildo 7 Inch at $85 is an example. This is relevant if you are using a strap-on setup.
Your First Dildo vs Upgrading
A first dildo: silicone, smaller end of the range, flared base. Simple and body-safe.
Second dildo: move up in either size or function. A curved silicone toy for prostate focus, or a glass toy for temperature play.
More experienced: larger sizes, dual density materials (like the Dual Density Dildo 7 Inch at $36.50), or a thrusting dildo.
Pair this guide with the safe anal sex guide for preparation and lube advice.
Related guides: Safe Anal Sex: A Practical Guide for Gay Men • Sex Toy Materials Guide: Silicone, TPE, Metal, Glass and More
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