Start With Curiosity, Not the Product
Choosing your first sex toy is easier when you start with what you are actually curious about rather than what looks impressive. The categories sort themselves out from there: anal play points you to plugs and dildos, erection and sensation point you to cock rings, and solo stimulation points you to strokers. Pick the curiosity first, then the toy.
Step 1: Pick One Sensation to Explore
Decide on one thing for your first toy. If anal play is the draw, a small silicone butt plug is the standard starting point, and our guide on how to use a butt plug walks through it. If you want firmer, longer-lasting erections, a soft silicone cock ring is the simplest entry, covered in how to use a cock ring. If solo sessions are the focus, a stroker is the obvious first buy.
Step 2: Check the Material
Stick to body-safe materials for a first toy. Silicone is non-porous, easy to clean, and the safest default. Avoid vague jelly or soft rubber with no material listed. For anything going inside the body, a non-porous material you can clean properly matters more than price.
Step 3: Start Small and Affordable
Buy one thing in the lower price range and learn it before spending more. A toy that feels manageable gets used. A toy bought to impress yourself usually sits in a drawer. You can always upgrade once you know what you like.
Step 4: Get the Basics to Go With It
Add water-based lube, which works with every toy material, and plan how you will clean and store the toy. Those two things make the difference between a toy you keep using and one you do not.
Where to Go Deeper
Once you know which direction your curiosity points, the gay man’s guide to sex toys covers each category in more detail and what to try as you progress. Choosing your first sex toy is just the start of working out what you enjoy.
Related guides: The Gay Man’s Guide to Sex Toys: Where to Start • How to Use Your First Butt Plug: A Relaxed Guide for Men
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